i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Do vagina's smell?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
