AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
