the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
