i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
