pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize