so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
