it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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