I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
