Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
