Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
