You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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