Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wear drunk well.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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