I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
