Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
