batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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