we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.