haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.