The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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