you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize