erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
