i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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