He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
