I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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