it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
