After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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