I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
