so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
