Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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