We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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