forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
