i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
