I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
