Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
