i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
