A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You can't just leave with hair like that
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
