Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
