I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
