Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
