i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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