I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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