Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize