it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
