took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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