dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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