just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize