so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
