just come out here and I will go home with you...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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