Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
