did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
