I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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