But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
