I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
