well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
