So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
