I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
