There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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