Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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