wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
