I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize