I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
