Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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