at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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