You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
