There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
